Updated: May 20, 2019
Are you married to your business and holding it as a captive of your well defined and designed goals carved in stone? Many of us do that without being aware of it, trying to shrink the infinite possibilities and choices into an outcome and a perfect "happily ever after, till death do us part" utopia. Then a lot of the times find ourselves "failing and falling out of love" as we are not meeting our goals with our business.
We are building from conclusions and that just kills the magic.
Have you ever expected and planned something down to the tiniest detail only to find yourself disappointed afterwards. Maybe you have created an event expecting ten people and only two showed up.
If you have ever watched "Bridezillas", you have seen what comedy extreme control creates in action, and it just makes you wonder, is it fun and is it worth it? It is a perfect trait for a reality show, a one that we don't want to be living in and a definitely a thing we don't want to be doing with our business.
There is only one thing that is true, for the most of the time, that things never happen exactly as we imagine, but they can always show up better than we could ever imagine, but only if we so choose.
There is nothing wrong with having a clear plan and a strategy with our business, but if we become bridezillas with our business we don't leave any room for magic. In that case it is very much likely that there will be no magic and it will be exactly as hard as we made it to be.
This is one form of contracting in the face of the unknown, by trying to control that which scares us. You end up just as stressed out as you would be if you invited uncle Morris to your wedding with his new young wife and the baby sextet they had as a result of a successful IVF treatment and sat them in the front row at the ceremony expecting them to be quiet. Not to mention the fact that he has always had a serious crush on your mom and has never been afraid of showing it in the most inappropriate situations.
It is natural for us to have fear of failure and that of success. Fear is a normal human reaction to anything that might be new and different that represents threat to our egos. Most of us experience some fear every time we are willing to do something different.
Sometimes we can interpret our excitement as fear. You may want to start asking yourself, am I scared or is this just excitement? And see if and how that changes things for you?
Fear in itself is just about us believing in our own thoughts of how we might feel in the worst case scenario. It is based on the memories of our past experiences which we really don't ever want to experience again. And we don't really have to, if we stop creating the future from that fear.
Sometimes our fear can get so overwhelming that it stops us and makes us fall into many negative thinking patterns. We find ourselves thinking, that we don't have what it takes or what we think we should have, based on seeing how other successful people are.
We don’t see all the things the most successful businesses leaders have gone through, the long path of trials that led those courageous men and women to where they are now.
How many u-turns, sudden shifts and changes they made and are actually continuously willing to make. What we don’t see is the amount of "failures" and course corrections they have been through. The tragedies of their personal lives and business relationships.
Do you know how many times the businesses of the really successful business people have gone bankrupt. Possibly as many as those that have succeeded. Can you imagine what it takes to lose millions or even billions and then build it up again from nothing for a few times, how about ten? It takes courage and resilience. But they are coming from a different space.
It is just business, it is always possible that something may work or not, but you don't know unless you test it and see, if it works and how does it work.
We don’t see their willingness to be wrong, their willingness to make choices where they can lose everything, their willingness to change everything in a heartbeat.
We have the illusion of other people getting there with total ease, following a safe path with no obstacles. Our thoughts can go something like this: “Yeah, but it is Richard Branson, of course he can do it, because it is him.” No, it is not personal and with his own words, "he is just doing it," and you possibly are not.
So what does it take? It requires willingness to be wrong, willingness to fail, willingness to lose, willingness to commit to the unknown outcomes and willingness to trust all energy, willingness to receive everything, the good and the bad, willingness for you to be the change you came here to be. Willingness to not to invite uncle Morris to your wedding, regardless of how he might feel about it, as he is the one who practically paid for all of your education.
You may also want to start asking a question: If I choose this, what will it create for me in five years time? It's a long enough time ahead for our bridezilla minds not to get on our way.
You may think of the presents uncle Morris has planned for his favorite niece. Can you see how in this case it would come down to your values and priorities? Your commitment to the things that really matter for you or if you are willing to let your fear of losing something valuable, or other people's possible reactions to make the choices for you?
Are you willing to commit 100% to yourself, you being the change you came here to be? How willing are you to change and expand beyond your current comfortzone?
Are you willing to fail like never before? What if you knew that every failure is a gift from your success?
What if you knew there never is a greater possibility than what is right now for you?
It is just as impossible to fail in the future, as it is in the past.
Do you feel like you have failed with your business recently or have some things not gone as you expected them to go?
Contemplate on your expectations and your goals. You may want to start asking, is this what I see as failure, a thing that has come up for me to clear so that I can actually get to my goal? Is this the thing that will make it even better?
What are the gifts of this? What learning is possible from this? What did I conclude, that killed the magic?
Then just be right now right here, with the one who think she has failed.
How do you judge yourself in that space?
Is it really true?
How does it make you feel when you believe in your thoughts about failing and the judgements you have about you?
How does it make you act and be?
What do you do when you believe in those thoughts?
How would you be without those thoughts? How would you act and do things differently if you didn't believe in them?
What would it create for you if you chose that? It is your choice, no one else can make it for you. There is no one else judging you.
How many examples in your life can you find of you getting to a better place after a seeming failure? What did you learn from those experiences, what did you become because of them?
I have just one more question for you:
How much out of control could you be with your business, that would create infinitely beyond the results and the impact that you could ever even imagine?
There is no happy ever after, only right now, right here and it is always just the beginning.
What do you choose to be right now?
Ps. I recommend anyone to read some life stories of the people you admire. It is inspiring.
If you want to know more about how to let go of your fears and how you can create your life and business with more magic, you are more than welcomed to book a free empowerment session with me. Let's see what else truly is possible for you? https://calendly.com/katikelo/magicalgoddess