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Writer's pictureKati Kelo

Becoming an Observer


Have you noticed how much easier it is to see other people's affairs more clearly than your own? To be aware of something that they are not.


It seems to be easier to see things from an observer space. How people are repeating their relationship or any other patterns, no matter how much in another level of consciousness they are, and whatever else we may observe.


That is why it is helpful to practice becoming an observer of our own lives. Seeing it from an observer space instead of being soaked into the drama, just makes it easier to understand our choices from a wider perspective.


Nothing is solid, everything is a choice and anything is possible.

Being an observer can take us to the space where we can see what we have solidified in our reality.


What is the observer space?


It is a space where you have no judgements about what is happening, you have no emotional attachment to it, just being curious of what is going on, without trying to know what it is. It is kind of paradox.


When you are trying to know you often miss what you already know. When you backup and distance yourself you become aware of your knowing. What does that mean? When we are trying to know we usually come from the space of trying to fix it, to make it better. Instead of receiving that what is. It's a form of denial, a form of fighting the reality.


When we can remember things without emotional attachment only then it can become wisdom, that works for our benefit.

Let's talk about relationships for example, because it is easiest to observe ourselves through our relationships with others. Many of us have been through a break up or a divorce and then dealt with the pain and the awareness that comes up from the process. Then opened up to new relationships, eventually meeting someone who fits the space of the new reality and consciousness we have created for us. We become happy and content.


But in the heat of the emotions we miss the patterns that drives our need for the new relationship. Which is looking for something that can better match our reality, someone who most perfectly reflects our new sets of desires and wants. Someone who we have most common things with. We create yet another relationship to boost the image of our ideal world. We are solidifying the relationship, ourselves and the other before it even begins. We can solidify ourselves even into having a conscious relationship. We have only created the same limiting relationship in another level of consciousness.

Whenever you find yourself thinking how amazing it is when this new person or this new relationship is so different than the previous one. How they react differently to the things that were difficult before in your relationships, you can be sure that you have not reached the space of freedom in your love. It is bound by the past patterns and most likely to end even more painfully.

Do we want to know this, no we don't. But if we do, we can actually create a space of freedom that enables our relationship to grow in love that allows us to be free. True love is only possible in freedom.


We are in a constant evolution and anything we desire to solidify will break down eventually. Because it is not true for us.

You can ask yourself: Are you trying to solidify things in your life in order to be safe? Are you trying to solidify and establish things in your life in order to make yourself to be somebody? Are you trying to create things for you, so that you can identify yourself as successful, content or happy? Observe how much are you creating from a space of wanting to be defined as something? How much are you creating your relationships with everything as definitions of you?

What would you create and be if you were not trying to define, establish, complete or perfect anything? What would it create for you if you lived as an observer instead of a definer of the one consciousness?


Would you start observing more and more of that which is true?

Interesting questions. I will be contemplating these.

Be magic! With love, Kati


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